Wax on ~Wax off

Funny.... I thought of The Karate Kid tonight and it makes sense for all of life.


Wax on. Wax off.


The balance of life is just that simple.
If only we listened to Mr. Miyagi, we would know.


I listen to my children.
I learn everyday from them.
I adore each of them for every smile, laugh and tear tattooed on my heart.

Sometimes understanding where they're coming from is as simple as going back in my memory of my own childhood with my sister. She's two years younger than me. As an adult you tend to remember the funny stuff more than the sibling squabbles you may have had. I'm sure my sister would have her own version of these memories....remind me to ask her. 
I adored my sister then and still do. Being the older sister I'm pretty dang sure she didn't always feel the love.
I mean for real? Super Star Ken was MINE and I was NOT sharing him with anyone. For the record, I sympathize with the younger sibling, they always think the older one has it made.


What will my children recall in their adult years?
She got an iphone first or he got any cell phone at a much earlier age than she did?
Can I help she's old enough to drive and he's not yet?

It's comical really if you stop and think about it. But trying to find the balance of making each feel as loved as the other can be a challenge. I used to think I felt it was harder because I was blessed to have one girl and one boy. Maybe it's easier for parents with same sex siblings? I'm not sure my mother would agree. She had two different children no matter what the chromosomes say.


My mother always told us she loved us the same. We've all heard it. Now I'm not saying my mom was lying... but I now know how hard it must have been to convince us of this truth.  From the time they were born my children have heard the story of each of their births and know that both of them impacted my life in a way only they could have. Yes, mom was right in that she loved us the same..a love so great that I would give my life for both of them.
I would give either the last piece of chocolate cake if need be. (Seriously, that's love.) 
But lets be honest....each can't be loved the same. They're completely different souls.
Traits from their father, traits from their mother, traits from the people who have helped mold their personalities.

They're just different.

But I know THIS...I will always try my best to make them feel as loved,
respected and treasured as they should feel.
The trick is to do so without making the other feel any less important to me than the other.


Balance is an ongoing work of heart.


"Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important." ~ Mr. Miyagi




Ps. Mom, thank you for loving both of us the same.... with all of your heart.

Hello World

I'm pretty sure I talk too much at work.
I know I talk too much to the dog.
I crave the moments my children want to talk to me.

My random thoughts are lost on the dog I'm sure. Haha

I'm a single mom with two amazing teenagers. Teenagers who are amazing in my eyes. No matter what kind of day I've had or if their dirty dishes are in the sink when I get home from work. They can change my radio station or change their clothes ten times a day. Tell me their bored, hungry and tired, but in the end they're the ones I wake up for each morning and thank god for in my prayers each night. They are my blessings. In their truest form.

After seventeen years of marriage I was forced to realize that hearts don't break even. They ache, they mend, they break a little more...but then they start to heal and grow. As long as I have their hearts in the palm of each hand...I will do my best to make each moment count.

I don't really know what this will be. Only that it will be entertaining to me. I may laugh (because only I laugh at my jokes) vent or admire. But it's a new path for me...so after almost one year of being divorced. I'm carving a new path, a new life and even a new love.

So my first random thought is...
I never used to question my "status" on a new patient history form at the dr's office. It seems simple enough..I know my name, I know my address. I really didnt even cringe at "age" (Fourties are fabulous ya know). But why were they only giving me 3 choices for my "Status"?
Married. Divorced. Widowed.  Some are inclined to say they'll be married forever. I would have been inclined to agree wth you. And widowed? Well I kinda viewed that as proclaiming your undying love for your spouse who has passed. But divorced? I dont want to choose that either! It really isn't a nice word. It's a past tense word I'm not choosing to use as my "status".  So I proceeded to write in Single in the spaces between. And from now on that's what i'm doing in life...filling in the spaces between...with how I view my status.